My heart has to take a permission 

Maybe sometimes we translate some  actions in our heads to feel them the way we like , things are not always the way they look like but we hate this fact , it’s an ugly one , very ugly , who said we can’t live it our way ? yes maybe we’ll get hurt , maybe we’ll get shocked but at the end it’s a beautiful experience or maybe we can say a deep one .

You can convince yourself that this is what you want when it’s not so maybe I’ll just encourage being emotional sometimes and I’ll say let your heart feel it and let your heart lead you , being logical all the time is pretending and the last thing I want is to pretend , but heart does it wrong sometimes , so they tell you to balance between them , your heart and your brain , is it really possible ? can the Human keep balancing everything before doing it ? or every decision before making it ? I think I’ll choose the emological Part .. 

when you get this feeling

It's hard to decide something when you're sure that it's not what you want

Surroundings force you sometimes , conditions also

I know it's the right thing to do but still it doesn't make me happy

Deep inside there's something missing , a warm voice that used to make my nights safe

People just talk , they can never be you and judge , they can never feel

Even if they were your closest , that secret inside of your heart is really precious

Dear  time , they say you solve everything , solve this

make sure they are happy and safe , Run faster and make me see them again 

this made me realize

it's not my first time to enter the hospital but this time made me realize many stuff , first of all to be graceful for being alive and breathing cause life is really  bigger than all of the problems, we always hear motivational  quotes and supporting words but never thought they worth effort , believe  me having this body and this brain is a real gift , everyone was created for a reason and of course it's not wasting your time and walking pointlessly around  it's a huger reason , your smarter than that , take a hot long shower and be thankful then start all over .
it is just amazing

thank you god for everything and I have to believe in you cause I always feel like there's something bigger than all of this , thank you 

New Friend

 I felt like I needed a company so I got this cute thing 

she keeps biting me but now she's apologizing by being quite and setting next to my nick 

in the street

when you walk in a street you find many funny and strange things , for me I love sitting on a chair in the middle of the street to see how life works , it's the funniest thing ever , you find people and cars coming from every possible way each one  of them is hiding a story with a small tear , they all wanna reach a certain point so they keep moving and moving , it's crazy that look that you have with a stranger for like one or two seconds then he goes away and you never know if you're going to see him ever again , at the back you hear children yelling and crying , they always want something from their parents and the parents are usually pissed and thinking about other things and their problems with their in-laws , so they grab their children's hands and keep walking without even looking at them or listen to what they are yelling which makes the voice louder ,
in that corner you see a homeless guy or a pretender and that's what most of people like to call him , so he comes by your side and start demanding money , you have money but you don't want to give him cause you feel confused and not comfortable , you  ignore the homeless guy like millions of people do and keep walking , too much horns everybody wants to be the first to pass and suddenly you hear a very loud noise  of two cars that have  crashed  , it's a silly accident like most of the street walkers thought but no , the car is all ruined now and it's all because of you , you wanted to be the first no one likes to wait

to be continued in another life maybe .........

That Day , I went to Irbid camp cause my French  friend was doing a research about the middle east , it was very interesting and painful at the same time , I saw happiness and sadness combining together all of those kids with mysterious future , all what they know is what they see and hear from the surroundings you see a critic innocent smile on their faces , I was looking in wonder , and I thought , these people are the ones who really know the meaning of life  , the meaning of money and warmth , of feeling safe at night and finding food the next day  , it's painful how we rarely think about them they are truly forgotten ,

Warm Winter

it's the night before the Christmas , everything feels beautiful and warm and everybody looks peaceful and pure , you walk in the street and you look at all of those faces and and buildings , you feel like crying but laughing and the same time , you miss many people and you start forgetting many faces , remembering moments and regretting others and it's all because of the weather , it has this special feeling that makes you want it all in one second that special feeling that makes you wanna go to your bed but stay outside , I can't describe it , it's too special to be described .